UNFINISHED (Gonna Get To You)

This poem inspired the track "Gonna Get To You" by the band Kraftberk101, who sent me a copy that I have since misplaced. Performed in an industrial-techno sort of way, the track lyrics differ from this poem and are darkly ambivalent, unlike the poem which I think is forthright and easy to interpret. If I come across the CD I'll let you have the track and its lyrics. Hear it here...

(An actor)

Your sickness is inside of you

trapped within your head,
distraught with insecurities,
irrational instabilities
are signs I always dread.

With childish eyes - implicit faith
to me you'd run in pain,
I'd never know our meeting place
you called - I always came.
Your breath it smelled of medication
your hair of almond oil,
clothes dishevelled,
yellowing teeth,
the outside world was seen through me.

I do not hate you.
I did not let them see you die.
I never left you Chessy.
My love it could not lie.

I stood by you Largactil bound
tried to prove you wrong,
bought you a hat so you wouldn't burn
walking in the sun.
Through slurring speech,
fantastic thoughts,
I loved you then so strong,
determination every day;
"let nothing more go wrong".

Time has passed and you've struggled back
but here we stand again,
the crossroads from which this time;
we'll follow different lanes.

Personal comment - the poem above is from my real life. It covers a frightening and traumatic time for both of us; for myself, the helpless and useless and emotionally attached boyfriend riddled by guilt and years of nightmares.

For 30years we had this common secret, but a chance meeting gave up forgiveness and resolution by a recovered patient, happily married with two children.

On our medically dictated route there were good times and very bad and along the way numerous notes (poems) were written by me. I now feel free to let you see some.

LOVE HURTS (TROUBLED TIMES)

If you think of dying

don't leave me alone,

tell me in the morning,

or warn me on the phone.

If you want to leave this world,

just want to get away,

I think I'd like to come along,

but maybe not today.

If you want to leave me

try to tell me why,

so I can understand you,

as I begin to die.

Though you have your troubles

and suffering we are,

call me anyway,

we'll chat in the car.

Above all else,

and this is paramount,

know you are my Chessy

and loved without a doubt.

There was a short period of rationality but soon enough a relapse that was as unexpected as it was rapid. I was quickly and abruptly appraised of an uncertain prognosis. 

FALLEN ANGEL

A broken angel,

down on one wing,

first lost resilience

then entered a spin.

Crashing to earth,

dazed and confused,

she patched up the crack

alighted and flew.

But seeming quite healed,

the crack reappeared,

and she crashed to the ground

worse than was feared.

The angel is down,

the angel is down,

someone please help me;

my angel is down.

We tried; continuing to have ups and downs and even spoke of splitting up, but loyalty to each other over-rode what we both (I think) knew was happening.

LETTER TO A FRIEND

We have felt it before;

to others we have opened our being,

souls and hearts,

and it hurts

when it ends,

a duet of hearts

coming to a close

for the entrance of loneliness,

the opening of old memories

and wounds,

giving up the puss of remembrance

and self-pity;

but not for us!

lest we scrutinise this bondage,

picking its meat

'till skeletal, lifeless fact remains;

for mystique and mutual unspoken understanding

still warms our hearts;

to nurture love and truth

as one.

Ups and downs,

backwards and forwards: a child on a swing,

mother waiting anxious for his return to ground;

I may swing with moods

but I must come down

to walk on the ground beside you.

Our difficulties continued for a year and I began to go down with our ship. I knew I wanted to jump but thought I would be judged a bad person for what self-preservation wanted me to do; I saw no improvement however and decided it all had to stop. I needed to walk and I felt a right bastard afterwards.  AFTERMATH came to me when I needed to concentrate on a new (life long) career.

AFTERMATH

I can see us drifting apart,

I can see a fond farewell,

a bitter-sweet

on a screen in the back of my mind.

I feel sorrow deep inside

apprehensive and tense,

not wanting a conclusion

for fear of an awful truth,

not knowing what will happen,

not knowing what I want to happen.

I feel lonely,

a spectator at my own loss

as the wedge of uncertainly

drives us apart.

With the final split, an anger born out of a depression joined me for months; this anti-woman piece became my mantra and I cared not for anything or anyone.

DEPRESSION TALKS

For the twisting of feelings,

the deceptive ease of use;

for the guilt I've felt

and the switchback affair,

and festering resentment in its throes of death.

For all this

and fears of uncertainty;

womankind I dismiss.

Life was bad at this time, a long time ago, and this poem with others of its ilk were all written around the same time;  I am revealing them now as I look back, with the original emotion(s) neatly and securely "boxed away".

WHAT'S THE POINT?

The point of life seems to be to get by.

To move from day to day,

wandering to a time of longing.

Nothing seems controllable anymore,

I seem to mime other people's wishes,

and wonder where I've gone.

Ambitions, love or happiness and caring,

all blunted, bludgeoned and twisted to coarseness

as dictation moulds my life and bolsters my sadness.

After I walked away, an act of self-defence, the sorrow eased, then this memory of a happier time came to mind; melancholic but somehow comforting.

A MEMORY

Shimmering blue-green lagoons of tranquillity

stared into space,

and wondered,

Am I a good Christian?

Moist and supple lips of sensuality

mouthed to the world

need I do more?

and I answered no,

for I thought that,

and I loved you;

and you kissed me.

LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

OUR LOVE?

This poem was recorded by the band Kraftberk101 who sent me a copy that I have since misplaced. Performed in a punky-Stones sort of way, it builds nicely into a bit of a rocker, so if I come across the CD I'll let you hear it.

My Love

is a kinda strange love,

for my love hurts me so.

Our love

is a kinda strained love,

for our love is mine alone.

You told me -

you told me that you loved me.

You told me -

please don't go.

But your love

is nothing but my love,

for your love is from my glow;

and our love

is really kinda no love;

for our love - it's so cold.

And Passion?

Where's the passion?

And loving?

well that's all gone!

So go,

go on - go!

And leave me all alone.

Leave me all alone.U POE

 

THE LAST GREAT ADVENTURE?

An "end-game" of addiction, the despair of a life only going one way: some people are predisposed to drug abuse, as others are to alcohol abuse, quite possibly because they are "bored" or were abused themselves, but more probably because they have lost essential feelings of self worth or have become detached from mainstream society; a society with ever increasing demands for total conformity. Is there any future other then your drug of choice and how would you imagine your final fix? ......

It's near me and full

and I must smash it to survive;

but as the liquid slides through the needle

sheathed in my hand,

the hit in my brain takes me.

I am dying;

a living horror of pseudo pleasures,

but entombed in the folds of my mind

the deep silence briefly intoxicates,

before synesthesia of light

becomes a cacophony of sound

and fearing harsh reds,

screaming yellows

and agonising blues,

I close my eyes

to see another me of former beauty

and we stare as if each the reflection of vanity.

She pities me

but I laugh in her face

as she sheds cloned images;

advancing as a distorting hoard

intent upon my self destruction.

Zoom in to see the nightmare

For those lucky enough to escape from their habit, researchers are coming to understand the benefits of taking hallucinogenic drugs for therapeutic reasons, treating a recently described disorder called  HPPD.

CEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments 

M

So many people out there.

So many people who want to care.

Afraid to share

they are islands in the sun

with empty beaches;

not yet tourist attractions,

desolate and basic,

off the beaten track

they could be the most interesting;

but no-one wants to explore.

In the pantry of life something old may be taken down from a shelf and thus it was here.

Looking for repudiation (revisited)

BP = Bountiful Profits, Beloved Petrol and Bothersome Politics (of the Russian kind this time)

Personal thought - It seems such a long time ago, though only a matter of 16 months, since the Deepwater Horizon ecological disaster that was the death of many and an underwater oil leak of exquisite complexity; 16 months since the end of BP (British Petroleum), or at least it's reputation, was forecast. This followed the farce of inept and impotent speeches and political "threats" from that chap, Obama, in a speech that time will forget. A farce played on a world media stage, driven by jingoism and buck passing, something we are all once again happy to see in the form of a monumental return to profit. How's about a 2011 third QUARTER profit of over 5 BILLION dollars (Over 3 billion British Pounds). Not bad eh?

As for the jingoism - the Russians seem happy to be screwing BP at the moment, what with cancelled agreements and raids on BP offices in Russia, but, as ever, BP will overcome this and get back to "business as usual", as it has done in the same American waters it was obliged to abandon.

UPDATE (6th Feb 2018): Obama out, lunatic/visionary/paradigm shift in and BP is again into big profits:  Fourth quarter profit in 2017 was $2.1 billion, even after another charge of $1.7 billion for the 2010 Deepwater Horizon ecological disaster. Will the Americans ever stop punishing BP for what was a disaster caused by American contractors and operatives on an American owned rig?

UPDATE (30th Oct 2018):  BP bounces back.

UPDATE (6th Feb 2023):    BP bounces back again.

BRAVE FACE

The reincarnation of freedom;

a pulsating awareness of oneness,
a feint movement outward
preceding a faltering exploration
of the world outside,
comparisons of as was to as is,
comfortable nostalgia and surprises,
until fully awakened to separation.

WORK Career Promotion Job LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL


LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

BELIEVE ME

I wish I could say what I feel

and realise what I should do
and how I should love you,
for my love hasn't died;
it's hiding away
like a harboured ship in a storm,
waiting to be called to depths of friendship.
I want to help
but I don't know how.
I want you home
but you can't come out.
I want to see you,
tell how I feel
but you wouldn't believe me.
I live in a dream?
LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

SHELL IN A BOX

Something caused this

There was life there
and you took it away.
Warmth;
but you cooled it.
I had feelings and you numbed them,
emotions 'till you slit my faith and bled them dry.
I've died;
wiped out inside,
a shell in a box of loneliness
waiting to be crushed by separation.
Help me.
Love me.
Don't leave me here when we can walk together.
Don't reject me,
as I long to return.
LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

What's the colour?

Your colour sight?

Make your colour test

Your inner self

BLACKEST OF HEARTS

With voodoo

I slew you;

your life it withdrew.

I own you,

to intone and eschew

all that you do.

I trapped your mind

in a picture I drew

on a page,

which in a rage

I could rip

to hurt you.

Voodoo and Juju

Bones, mud and straw,

then Christian babies

in bits and in pain,   *

tortured in London,  *

for power and gain.  *

The blackest of arts

for the blackest of hearts

for the ignorant and poor

to suffer yet more,

as I writhe and twitch,

as your voodoo witch.

I own you!

And you are nothing.

A shell

in a box called hell,

yet the media ignore me,

for all is well.

* Smiling monsters1 ?

* Smiling monsters2 ?

* Child brought to London for ritual execution

* Juju is strong in London and in Sierra Leone

* Is Nigeria really moving on?

* Juju, Muju and Voodoo are still strong

JUJU Voodo VOODOO Zombie Child Abuse LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceau

LUKEWALM WATER

Like water
I flow around you,
giving at every turn,
carrying you above the rocks
and trying to cushion your life.
But water dammed for too long
can overflow its banks,
drowning a person
in an eagerness to escape its confines,
and water cooled can freeze in time
until it too becomes a rock.

The resolution of this was not good

LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU 

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

As I sat before my desk

the sky cleared,

and the shadow of my raised pen
grew ever bolder,

as if rising through the surface
and then rhythmically sweeping a reapers arc
through any ideas of poetry.

Distracted through observation,
poetry became prose.
But then I froze
and slipped back to my lifelong desire
to make it rhyme,
to make it mine
to make my lines
sublime.

Divine.

Oh hell;
just stretch a bit of time
do a stanza crime
shove out some words
as valued as turds,
life statements
of time on a street
in a pub
eating grub
fucking a bird
acting the nerd;
following the herd
with undistilled words.

Witty can rhyme with shitty
gritty does not equal pretty,
eloquent is oft’ repellent,
but be it poetry or prose
be on your toes
'fore the wave of applause
with a tsunami clause.
From the audience that knows
You are on your own.
LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

Well Done? (Revisited)

Some of you may remember an earlier post regarding a work colleague fired for reasons that will remain obscure, but I am now happy to report that after a more formal review of the case he has been re-instated, to his former role.

Our working environment has changed greatly in the last year and I only hope my colleague can come to terms with their new strictures, having given up another job acquired following the original departure.

To those who temporarily ruined the aspirations of a whole household in order (it seems) to merely prove their department had teeth, I hope they can now suck on a final thought that had it not been for their farcical handling of this case, they would not have lost the business an equally able colleague who quit to pursue a career in a less flawed organisation.

Read this sorry saga from its start here ...
WORK Career Promotion Job LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

Park Rain revisited (Video & Back Story)

After a period of R&R (rage and rancour) I am getting back into this blogging lark by sucking the thumb of my own ego in order to bolster the defensive aspects of my personality (confidence and candour). I'd like to thank Elaine and the Governor for their patience and of course Wazbag, for her continued support, though I am not stupid enough to think I can wallow for much longer in this pool of ... whatever it is.

Since we last spoke, a video "short" of one of my early poems (PARK RAIN) has been released by its producer, Kirsty Clark, a popular videographer around here. I am hoping she will tackle another poem shortly, but for now here is the link to her YouTube video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6nGCmgyKE

Park Rain has a "back story" that comprised the earlier verses of the original poem, before I excised them in order to distil its emotional content. For the completists amongst my friends (John!) who nagged for the missing bits, they now follow.

http://laurenceaux.blogspot.co.uk/2010/09/park-rain-back-story_27.html

TUMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL

PARK RAIN BACK STORY

Amongst rustling trees

we slowly walked,

as the hum of the city

eased our silence.

Lazy rolls of distant thunder

and the chill of the night

were my friends;

drawing your hand to mine,

as we made for shelter.

We spoke of the future,

but a fear of change engulfed me,

for we would be apart,

maybe forever;

and the tear in my eye,

which I tried to deny

as a spot of rain,

rolled down my cheek

as you gently squeezed my hand;

then we ran for cover

as the heavens opened,

shrieking with our urgency ........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6nGCmgyKE

PARK RAIN

The rain rodded down,

pock-marking the pond

as the moon shone

in a halo of colours.

Sheltered we stood

by a roof and our hearts

whilst the rain fell,

spitting to the ground

in a crackling dance

to a whispering breeze;

for the wind was light

as the feeling inside,

and I held your hand

as you held my heart.

You kept me from the cold,

for you warmed me from inside;

and I loved you then.

 

Looking for repudiation

BP = Blown Profits, Blown Pensions, Belching Poisons and Bloody Politics (of the American kind).

Personal thought - Though the press in general and the American senate in particular are having a huge bout of Schadenfreude (a perverse pleasure in the misfortune of others), those proud Americans, as usual, are seemingly in denial.

They own half of BP, which generates many of their pension "pounds", so they are taking collateral damage whilst berating the "British" face of this company with huge, impotent "Obamawords". They forget to remember that the destroyed rig was American owned (by a third party), American run and maintained, American designed and stocked with wholly American hardware, installed (incorrectly) by American sub-contractors to a plan signed off by the American government, who need to blame anyone other than their "own" American  people.

Sure this is a global cock-up and there is no doubt that the Americans on the rig were instructed by head office to save on costs, what international company has ever not said "save on costs"?, but was it those American managers (at rig-level) who went too far in the corner-cutting. They may have died, but were they to blame?

The "slick" offered up for slaughter by the BP board is a PR joke, who has as much influence as Obama (none at all!) over the delivery of the eventual fix for this leak. Obama has to jump up and down so as not to seem politically impotent, whilst our "British" friend has to stonewall because no-one (yet) has any idea of how this beleaguered company will actually get to the beginning of the end-game of this disaster.

The only good thing on the horizon is that America will finally question and address its love affair with oil (hopefully).

UPDATE (6th Feb 2018): Obama out, lunatic/visionary/paradigm shift/narcissistic criminal in (Trump) and BP is now back into big profits:  Fourth quarter profit in 2017 was $2.1 billion, even after another charge of $1.7 billion for the 2010 Deepwater Horizon ecological disaster.

Is there interest in your life?

So where are we now? - June and the weather is as shit as my general mood these days. This year has thus far seemed to be a downer; work, home life, earnings and social life not quite fulfilling whatever need or restlessness that is growing within me.

Maybe I should forget the thought that in the second half of my life I can have the luxury of waiting for people to impress me, after trying thus far to get-on with others (by trying to impress them?). Perhaps I should come to terms with the fact that the vast majority of people just do not give a toss about anything, or anyone, beyond their nose end; their sheer laziness is the reason that nothing appears to be satisfying me at the moment and that my earlier, perhaps delusional life, is the one that "suits" me best.

I was the nice guy; the guy who gave ground, the guy who ran around after others, the guy who desired interaction, feigned interest in strangers, while wishing to serve, as if to affirm my place in the scheme of things; when in reality I am a servant to my own life, possibly blinkering myself to the truth of life by "being busy". Fuck me - I feel miserable right now (Thanks Morrissey).

OK,

don't cry for me (Argentina),
'cos I've never loved you,
you do not know me,
you are just a reader,
a faceless party,
to witness boredom ....

Someone (dad the wise old bugger) once said to me that life is like a bank account - you have to put something in to get some interest out and that the more you put in the more you will get back, but that the real trick is to find "banks" (people) that are best for you, whose interest is high or closest to that you desire.

I am gonna switch to "banks" who are trying to be more nice to people, rather then just staying in my bed whenever possible to avoid a wrongly perceived assumption that people offer me nothing, so I offer them nothing.

I still feel miserable, but hopefully things may soon feel better. The poetry "gig" seems to be progressing and gives some satisfaction, my wife will soon be home from overseas and I might just get to spend some of my wage this month before others do it for me.

Bye for now - I'll be back........

11th Oct 2018 - should have got off your arse and stopped feeling sorry for yourself earlier boy!

Try this ....

WORK Career Promotion Job Miserable Wanting LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

Where have I been?

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, I'm so glad you still attend, as I turn another bend, come inside - come inside! (Also thanks to ELP from whose album "Brain Salad Surgery" I have just gratuitously nicked some lyrics.)

So, where have I been for the last month? Beats me - but I'm glad to think I'm coming back to a world of happy shiny people (thanks REM), even if the love shack (B-52s) seems to have shut down again. Let me explain ....

Life is busy at the moment - work, poetry, the odd night out, correspondence with friends, planning for change both at home and in France, making cash stretchy in order to do what it should do (pay bills) rather then abandoning responsibility by shafting myself with a greasy pole of "cheap credit". You know how life can be at times - BUT IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

Does life ever get interesting for a white "middle-England", middle-aged, balding fat-git money machine that merely seems to exist to hand-over whatever is "earned" to others? Am I in mid-life crisis? Male menopause or chronic depression? Or just getting through life like many others who also think that there must be more to life then this; the ennui is strong today!

Where is it in me, for I am not sensing it, the feeling of satisfaction I expect by playing by the rules, by attending to my familial needs, paying all my bills on time, never asking the state for anything (other than unemployment benefit for 3 weeks during a near continuous work history now standing at 34 years) , nor causing distress by being anti-social or criminal in any way?

Where the hell is my satisfaction - I want it now! Oh - here it is now

Anyway - thanks for sticking with me so far and just to prove that I have not spent my whole life in a pit of gloom, may I offer another recent poem that I was asked to write for an upcoming programme of events that will celebrate the influence of the UK city of Kingston Upon Hull (aka "Ull") upon current and former residents, including the celebrated poet Philip Larkin.

Learn about 'Ull ...

WORK Career Promotion Job LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL

HULL

Hull is not a rat-race.
Hull is a nice place.

Hull is not chav-town
Hull has thrice a crown:
a king’s town.

Kingston Upon Hull;
Larkin land,
full or Tigers, Robins and Earlie birds,
and parks and memories of Quakers as great as the Fry’s,
not the Whitefriars
nor the rare Blackfriars
nor those of the Land Of Green Ginger,
but Reckitts and Ferens,
Needlers and Sizers
bobbers and jobbers
dockers and packers
trawlermen and lightermen,
independent spirits one and all.

Hull is a king's town.
Let no-one put us down!


National antipathy towards Hull is rife, but as these videos suggest, that should be a thing of the past. Video1,  Video2,  Video3.

Read some facts about Kingston Upon Hull here … and here

Can you speak 'ull?

LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYONEL