GRASSHOPPER

The night draws in as the air cools, and stillness is all around. The world waits for a new day, for the breaking of allegiance to darkness, and our stillness is profound. Talking and caressing, laughing then sleeping, the night it makes us close, and laying there, cheek to cheek in the cool of the silent night, we'll draw inwards to each other with a glow of life; with a glow of life and love? For laying there on the bed in the stillness of night, beside your body fair; no more do I want, no more do I care; for as long as I lay with you there.

Postscript:

For me this early relationship was intense because I was way out of my emotional depth. There was no shallow-end here, just that deep longing pushing me around like an irresistible tide. With the purity of hindsight I would now paraphrase a lyric by Joan Armatrading and say this to Julie.

Little darling, I believe you helped me a lot

You took me by the hand and lead me where you willed

No conversation, no wave goodnight

(we) Just made love with affection

When transposed into the past tense is this poem better, invoking a little melancholia?

            The night drew in as the air cooled
            and stillness was all around.
            The world waited for a new day,
            for the breaking of allegiance to darkness,
            and our stillness was profound.
            Talking and caressing,
            laughing then sleeping,
            the night it made us close,
            and laying there,
            cheek to cheek in the cool of the silent night,
            we drew inwards to each other with a glow of life;
            with a glow of life and love?
            For laying there on the bed in the stillness of night,
            beside your body fair;
            no more did I want,
            no more did I care;
            for as long as I lay with you there.

Word of the day - FUGUE

The word today is Fugue

Fugue is a noun and is unusual as it can mean two things:

- A musical piece with two or more intertwining voices

- Disturbed consciousness, with no memory after recovery

A word with two meanings

A musical fugue can be irritating or enchanting

A medical fugue is very rare and confusing for all

If you need more about musical fugue start here or here

If you need more about medical fugue start here or here

Dictionay definitions are here or here.

There is an index of words of the day.

Smart Meters - I tried to warn you

For years I have been pestered by E.ON,, who are persistent in their assertion that they "must" replace my electricity meter (new five years ago). They "must" install a "smart meter" in order to offer many advantages to myself.

I DO NOT WANT A SMART METER,

 NOR CAN THEY FORCE ME TO HAVE ONE!

Their assertion that they "must" do anything more than supply and bill me for electricity is false. At best their "must" could be, "we would like to", or "we are being pressured by government to", but "must"? I don't think so. Consumers cannot legally be forced onto a smart meter, even though they have probably already paid for it in some form of prior green levy.

Let me explain:

A smart meter will tell me how much electricity I am using and may thus induce me to reduce my consumption and related bill, but it will not. I will not reduce their exposure to my possible indebtedness for I refuse to be a frozen, meek pensioner, stressed-out and intimidated daily by its "helpful" information. They will never tell me the reason courts may come knocking is because I "chose" to ignore the advice of a damned smart meter. No way - if I'm freezing my arse off the electric heating goes on.

A smart meter accurately records and transmits consumption to them each half hour, for no advantage to myself in any way; and whilst I am happy for E.ON to send me accurate bills based on monthly meter readings that I supply and pay online, at no cost to them, I do not want to host technology that facilitates an ability to vary the cost of my electricity, on a half hourly basis, during periods of high national demand (for instance), nor do I want "encouraging" to consume, or charge and tax my car, outside of "peak times" (Or pay more for the privilege). Update 2023: I wrote the paragraph above in 2018 and it has come to pass in 2023. With sufficient smart meters in use suppliers are confident enough to test their ideas by offering discounts to users taking power in "off-peak" times. This is merely to test their ability to bill for dynamic variation(s) of the electricity price. Believe me, once established the true intent will be revealed; that electricity used at peak demand via a smart meter will be charged automatically at a higher rate, in order to give evermore profit and to smooth power demand in order to mask the deficiencies in the UK's power generation and supply network. You were warned! and this is what the industry is doing. Update 2024: Finally "they" reveal their hand and the motive(s) behind the drive for smart meters: more control and more profit by charging different amounts for electricity according to circumstances beyond the control of millions of (poor) subscribers, or those who have bought electric vehicles..

A side-issue with smart meters is their ability to be remotely changed into pre-payment mode, meaning you suddenly become "a valued customer" who is deemed poor because you missed a bill payment by more than 15 days (perhaps because your insurer doubled your pending motor insurance and yet you still have to feed the kids!); the real kicker is that pre-paid electricity costs you more and what the supplier has really done is make even more profits from "poor" customers. Without a smart meter this would not happen as readily, so no smart meter for me thank you.

I do not blame electrical vendors wanting more profit in return for not embarrassing politicians, whose inability to enforce national strategic capacity planning is about to be exposed, (as national power generation is nearly incapable of satisfying peak demand), but I simply do not want to be billed every half hour on a Variable Tariff Rate, nor be bullied into changing my consumption patterns; or worse still have a pre-payment only mode downloaded into my meter which will make the same electricity as anyone else cost me more. 

Furthermore, I will not want a meter I "must" have, that can automatically cut me off, or tax me on the amount of power my electric car tells any smart meter it has taken, nor be "hacked" at some time in the future, as most other "Internet of things" seems to suffer these days; when some hacker works out how to tell all metres to shut down, mine will not be one of them.

No thanks E.ON; keep you smart meter, or I will switch to another supplier (not possible by 2023 as any move now stipulate a smart meter is require), something I know will not be trouble free, because their billing systems will not understand the transmissions from an E.ON "smart meter".

Sorry readers, rant over. Normal service will now resume...

Consequences?

Your rights according to Ofgen

Should you get a smart meter?

Six reasons to say no to a smart meter

Millions of not so smart meters

What if your smart meter is not so smart?

This is the best explanation I have found

Time to make YOUR mind up SOON

Hi Hong Kong on your Macintosh

I see many readers from Hong Kong but are you real people and why do you find my pathetically little site so interesting all of a sudden?

Good luck

TENDING MY ROSE

As we age and start to look beyond the excitements of youth, a need for personal closeness beyond that of  "mates" begins to gather momentum. Not quite a nesting instinct that will come later, but a quiet murmuring in the backwaters of your mind, incessant and sometimes worrying, that comes upon you regularly like a tide, it cannot be turned and sometimes you feel you are drowning in "something" other than self-pity or mere lustfulness. You just know you are ready for a meaningful and loving personal relationship.

Such feelings of unresolved longing, of ennui, can almost consume a person's normal thoughts and a malaise with social withdrawal from those "settling-down", getting married and "nesting" into parenthood. Your need to follow them can become overpowering and sometimes lead to acts of embarrassing social desperation. This I have experienced.

Talking to a piece of paper via a poem may help (as it did me), and a few tears are not uncommon, but best kept secret (I thought).

The following words were/are a retrospective confirmation that I had found someone (my wife of many years) and that in my former barren garden of  life I tended a beautiful rose, who is actually called Rose.

I wish for any readers approaching their time of "settling-down" that your segue goes smoothly.

Wandering the garden of life

I longed for a flower.

I needed a flower,

for looking about others tended theirs

large and small

short and tall;

and I tended nothing.

Through my winter of life

nothing grew till I found you.

I longed for a flower

and found a rose.

Mothers Love (or do they?)

In the UK two child brothers were sentenced to indefinite detention for the appalling abuse and torture of two unrelated boys; a prophetic conclusion to their "toxic life" finally came to pass.

Leaving aside the ritualistic media driven "investigations" and "new" recommendations that inevitably followed, adding to the burden on the shelf of hard-core social service failures and the burgeoning (and yet somehow restricting) cannon of advice papers, guidance documents and government directives; when will we allow ourselves to ask the most fundamental of questions, 

Who wrecked the lives of these children?
Who to prosecuted for destruction of their rightful expectations?
Who allowed their lives to be so "toxic"? 

Who allowed "care" to reach a point where lives were taken or children broken to become so sociopathic as to render as fully-fledged sadistic beings.

Who but their "parents" of course!

Agencies who have legislation to effectively intercede in any child's history may fail, but rolling back a child's history leads ultimately to their "parents", most importantly their mother. God only knows why women conspiratorially stand by men (and vice-versa) who foul their children on a daily basis; who fear, loathe and attack their "partner" and yet still "love" them? I don't think I'll ever know but my desire to see punishment fitting a crime also encompasses a desire to see the catalysts of crime punished equally.

The parents of these boys had so obviously abused them through neglect and (dare one still say) a complete lack of any effective social guidance, also deserve punishment. If they have remaining children it can only be assumed they are equally damaged and in need of help, but what seems certain is they do not need those parents! Lock-up the adults for the same amount of time as the underaged thugs they "raise".

The oft' quoted Jesuit motto, "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man," seems to be most appropriate at this time, so look after your kids please, as you would like them to look after you. (Once the state completes its rollback to the Victorian model of family support.)

Though I did not write the following poem I wish I had, for I admire its ability to express an obvious anger without any incitement to violence. Author PAUL ENGLAND is slowly documenting what we take to be his life’s experiences and I believe he deserves a wider audience.

A MOTHER SO COLD

Mother let me tell you

I don't give a fuck;

shit, I felt it too

when fathers place you took.

Am I a child you could not hold

you callous fucking cunt,

you call me cold!

shit, you've got some front.

For father told me this;

how ready you are to scold,

so excuse me all you people

if I am talking bold,

but mother said some shit

that went and touched my heart,

so I'll take her to my rhymes

and rip that bitch apart.

I'm crying while I write

‘cos this shit hurts to say

but I feel I have to write

‘cos the pain won't go away.

You see there is a line

but you crossed that long ago,

that day you got so selfish

and dad walked out the door.

So keep your love

and save it for another,

for what you've done to me:

you just can't be a mother.

On average, at least one child is killed each week in the UK, often at the hands of guilty parents or "carers"; this statistic as changed little for decades and is apparently an intractable problem. I'd want both parents forcibly sterilised. What would you have done with this lot?

     August 2020 - Bimbo killer mother

     November 2021 - Yet another horrific case of child abuse

     December 2021 - And another - Savannah Brokhill child killer

     May 2022 - Why do these deaths keep happening?

     July 2022 - Baby P killer Tracey Connelly should've been strung up 

      - Mar 2024 - As should her "man", with commentary

     July 2023 - Baby Jacob Crouch in hell throughout his 10 months 

                           This sub-human should hang for his crime ... 

     Nov 2023 - Toddler Alfie Phillips had 70 visible wounds

     Mat 2023 - Baby Finley Boden died with 71 bone breaks and burns

     Feb 2024 - Monstrous mother Christina Robinson kills son over three years

PAUL ENGLAND Poet LAURENCEAUX England LAURENCEAU Lawrenceaux LAWRENCEAU Laureanceaux LAURANCEAU Lawranceaux LAWRANCEAU Loranceaux LORANCEAU Lorranceaux LORRANCEAU POETRY Prose POEMS Social Comments HUMOUR Humerous SMILE Smiling LAUGH Laughing LAFF Laffing CYNICAL Truism TRUISMS Welcome HULL Kingston-Upon-Hull Kingston Upon Hull KINGSTON-ON-HULL Kingston On Hull YORKSHIRE East Yorkshire HUMBERSIDE Yorkshire DEPRESSION ThisISUll FED-UP Pissed-Off LONELY Disgruntled DISSOLUSIONED Blue BLACK Thinking BLOG Blogger LYON

Word of the day - GOBSMACKED

The word today is Gobsmacked

Gobsmacked is an adjective and means the following:

- To be rendered speechless or bereft of words through shock or awe

- To be so utterly surprised or astounded one cannot speak

- When your senses or feelings are so overwhelmed you cannot speak

Gobsmacked is mostly used in the UK, but spreading via media use

Gobsmacked is a "shorthand" for other expressions of astoundment

Gobsmacked is now regarded as slang, though it is s proper word

One could say, "I was so shocked I was gobsmacked"

I could say of another, "his shock was so great he was gobstruck"

If you need more start here or here.

There is an index of words of the day.

Dump Trump 'cos he's a chump

Attention USA! Wake up for God's sake and get your leaders in order, or better still retire some of them.

We Europeans, for the most part, regard Donald Trump to be a dangerously narcissistic idiot (along with others!), who rather than "make America great again" (as it was up to the 70's), will probably precipitate some sort of social implosion there; you have enough explosive factions, such as Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Illegals and of course, good old Whitey: all chomping at their bits to aggravate each other, but "you", sane electorate, must sort out this mess.

Start by retiring Biden (just about dead) and dump Trump because he's a chump. Of those two, Trump will screw you because Trump loves Trump alone, so pleaseUSA , US ,, Donald Trump , Trump , Biden , Biden and Trump , Trump and Biden

Dump Trump 'cos he's a chump

(Pass it on!)

Here's a thought about old leaders

A Despicable Act

Russia!

PUTIN!!!

A despicable and unnecessary act that killed people at prayer was perpetrated by the Russian military this day. Despite their ability to destroy any other part of Ukraine with their pin-point accuracy weapons, they chose to target a church of all things; a non-strategic "target" was wilfully destroyed in Odesa, a world heritage designated area.

Why?

Because they can, I suppose, but certainly not in the name of many, many Russians, who are a proud people whose standing in the world has and is still being trashed by the corrupted and criminal fraternity now driving that country to a place that is detrimental to all who partake. 

Please wake-up you massed Russians and find the inner strength to subvert the actions of your despot leaders who are running the once proud name of Russia, its heritage and its children into dust.

Start reading of this here ....

The fire inside ...

A Wagner story ...

Killing children in a non-military target . "Normal" Russian must be sooooo proud of their valiant military puppets.

Russian irregular troops have turned their backs on Putin and attacked land inside Russia. Will their action be a catalyst for change?

Word of the day - FESTOON

The word today is Festoon

Festoon is a noun / verb  and means the following:

- To decorate a room, person or object for a special occasion

- To  decorate with hanging embellishments, usually curved like drapes

A festoon

If you festoon someone they are said to become festooned

Festooning is the process of  making them festooned 

Whilst becoming festooned someone/thing undergoes festoonment

The word drape could replace festoon in many sentences (I think).

The noun festoon first appeared in the 1600s when it was used, as it still is today, to refer to  decorative chain or strips hung between two points, be it on a person or object. After a century’s worth of adoring festoons, the word festoon acquired a duality as a verb (e.g. I will festoon that person with golden drapes). 

If you need more start here or here or better still, here.

There is an index of words of the day.

SUSAN FEWSTER R.I.P.

My sister-in-law died yesterday of cancer. We will miss her greatly. She was the bedrock of many people's life's, steadying for them their twists and turns of life with selfless dedication and little thought to her own requirements. She was a loyal, friendly, helpful, supportive and caring person who we will miss greatly and think of often.  Sue Fewster , Susan Fewster , Susan Fewster (nee Markham) , Sue Fewster (Nee Markham) , Bat Bat , batbat ,

Susan Fewster R.I.P.

I have come to the end of my journey
and the sun has set for me,
but I want no rites in a gloom filled room;
why cry for my soul set free?
Miss me a little please
but not for long with heads bowed,
remember my love or friendship
and smile when I’m not around.
Take care of yourselves my friends,

may your care of others abound;

take time to reflect upon the Earth

and what you leave to be found.

* This poem was inspired by an original by Christina Georgina Rossetti

With hindsight her hospital (Hull's Castle Hill) made a pigs-ear of her treatments - undue delays in treatment (due to petty strike action and the catch-all excuse of COVID), "lost" test results, "trying" different medications like they didn't really have a clue (or much interest), different doctors popping-in to ask inane questions, as if they were there out of curiosity to see what near-death looks like. There was nothing more telling than when one nurse on the ward confided, "you wouldn't treat an animal like this". Complain you may say? 

What's the point of taking on a well oiled excusing and denial machine.

Cancer patients at risk, again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again

Meaningful songs #27 - GEORGE MICHAEL

This  is the twenty-seventh in an occasional series of songs from my collection, with the intent of introducing music to younger readers that they may gain appreciation of music from the classic years, 1957-1990. 

I have lived long enough to hear the "popular" music industry become ever-more formulaic, lazy, uninspiring and cynical; delivering "units" and "artistes" as interesting and memorable as polished mud.

Meaningful songs that eloquently convey a story, sentiment, or social comment and make it to national consciousness are rare these days. If you agree this song is meaningful, please introduce it to someone young; they might enjoy becoming "musical archaeologists".

Todays song, titled "A Different Corner", released in 1986, is by a singer called George Michael.

Hear George Michael's song here

A Different Corner speaks of a deep crush or an undeclared love that eventually fails, because of fear of its consequences. Though the deepest of loves it comes to nought because it could not be declared*

         *

George was an undeclared homosexual at this time and was portrayed publicly as every girl's dream; he took the public humiliation on the chin at the time, but brilliantly gave the "media" the finger with a huge hit called Outside in 1996.

In 1986 George Michael was just about to disband the group (WHAM!) to go solo, which he achieved following the global success of this song.

To gather an insight as to how, when and why this song came to be recorded, read here George Michael's own words on the matter.

A DIFFERENT CORNER
    
I'd say love was a magical flame

I'd say love would keep us from pain

Had I been there

Had I been there

I would promise you all of my life

But to lose you would cut like a knife

So I don't dare

No, I don't dare

'Cause I've never come close in all of these years

You are the only one to stop my tears

And I'm so scared

I'm so scared

Take me back in time maybe I can forget

Turn a different corner and we never would have met

Would you care?

I don't understand it, for you it's a breeze

Little by little you've brought me to my knees

Don't you care?

No I've never come close in all these years

You are the only one to stop my tears

I'm so scared of this love

And if all that there is, is this fear of being used

I should go back to being lonely and confused

If I could, I would, I swear

Oh, I swear

Return to the first article in this series or hear the first song in this series.

Read the next article in this series or hear the next song in the series.

For the index of all songs in this blog click here.

Word of the day - NARCISSISM

The word today is Narcissism

Narcissism is a noun and means the following:

- An exaggerated interest and admiration for ones physical appearance

- Having grandiose views about (their) superiority, skills and abilities

- Possessing exaggerated avarice and elevated feelings of entitlement

- To use social/personal/political manipulation for self aggrandisement

Behind any narcissist is a child with uncontrolled
emotions of greed, temperament and "me-me-me"

If you suffer from narcissism you are a narcissist

If you are a narcissist you exhibit narcissistic character traits

If you are a narcissist you are not (normally) "bad"

There is a little narcissism in all - we all like to think we are good!

Narcissists get called "big heads", "cocky", "know-alls", "selfish"

Extreme narcissists are not really nice people to know (long term)

Narcissism is properly viewed as a spectrum, with people exhibiting degrees of traits within the population. Few people exhibit no narcissistic traits; most a few traits and then very few who actually have a dangerous (to those around) narcissistic personality disorder.

The Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), developed by Robert Raskin and Calvin S. Hall in 1979, is the most commonly used measure of the trait. Scores range from 0 to 40, with the average tending to fall in the low to mid-teens. Healthy individuals who score somewhat higher may be perceived as exceedingly charming, especially on the first encounter, but eventually come across as vain. Such individuals may have awkward or stressful personal encounters but present a fundamentally healthy personality.

If you need more start here or here and to understand narcissism in lay-man terms I recommend this and this and this and for those of you who may be thinking, "well am I a narcissist?, Watch this. (Mr Trump - you don't need too as you know you are a rather nasty narcissist)

There is an index of words of the day.

There are narcissists amongst us, though many are covert, but once identified their life begins to come into focus, driven as it is by narcissistic behaviour(s) and selfish desires. Narcissism is rarely a topic of a popular "hit" song, but the band Garbage recorded one.