ONE FOR THE SOFT-CORE QUEEN

Not the bed of a (now) famous music teacher in Cramlington

From its inception in 1976, ever more racy iterations led to this poem, as a private email friendship became less guarded over years. 

 

I started this letter whilst sat on the loo,

and the ring on me bum's dedicated to you.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

writing's exciting when sat on the loo;

and now as I sit I'm thinking of you

(more fun to be had with two in the loo!),

so now that it's said - if you know what I mean,

come 'round to my place - I'm still nice and clean.

Oh little Hartlet you know I'm a fan?

Come 'round to Slag-babes and make me a man.

For I'm sitting in bed

and rubbing my head

I can't think of another to woo.

I'm trying and trying

gasping - near dying

but I just can't stop thinking of you.

You asked for an ode - but soft-core porn?

well here it comes - pubes must be shorn.

The second on the list of things to be had

is a big red bed and that you have,

pillows galore to firm those hips

with their hole from home to warm my pips.

And that's about it - all I require,

You bring a bottle - I'll be your sire.

So when can I come - to see you I mean,

for you're now rechristened,

the soft-core queen.

Personal Comment: Having the poem, this song came to my mind, thought it is not in my personal list of meaningful songs.

HUMOUROUS HUMOUR ELAINE LAURENCEAUX England LAUR