THINGS GREATER THAN LOVE

Have you ever made a painful choice, where there can only be one winner and it's not you?

In relationships and friendships there are sometimes ultimatums given for you to "decide or go". In my case two friends, either of which I would happily have entered into a relationship with, did not like each other and I had to make a decision. One had to "move-on" as my presence in both lives was deemed untenable. My final decision was driven by a sense of obligation for she restored my general health and well-being. 

I have become content with that decision over time, but occasionally have thoughts of "what if", accompanied by warm echoes from that past tinged with melancholia, as obligation reigned supreme. I sometime savour that "what if" with wistful thoughts of me apologising, but my obligation is legal now and I am true to my word.

These two poems are from that time (1991), the first reflecting my melodramatic and conflicted state.

Things greater than love are objective and mean,

and steer a man to horizons unseen.

His vistas of love

and of tenderness,

fall from his eyes

and corrode as they die,

for things greater than love

hurt so much more,

for the truest love

is oft' shown the door.

After the "choice" there came a letter and my response, but I had no real defence. A decision had been made and for quite a while was something akin to an open sore. My response was called Your Love.

YOUR LOVE

I read your letter,

became aware of your love,

its depth and purity,

forgiveness and loyalty,

a love untainted by conditionality

with joyous forgiving

and ever-present hope;

and I envy that love,

for I have no reply.

With a reunion of friends returning from Australia there came a chance re-encounter, over drinks, and an awareness of the mutual warmth still silently glowing between us; as if no choice had been made.  Surprised and flattered, my parting thought that night was, "Ask her to play Badfinger's Baby Blue if this reunion comes to mind in the future"; but of course I never did.

 

I had long since made a choice but wanted to acknowledge that "Things greater than love are objective and mean", and that any reunion would involve this song, which I love for maybe all the wrong reasons. To hear it click here.

BABY BLUE (by Badfinger)

    

Guess I got

What I deserved

Kept you waiting there

Too long my love

All that time

Without a word

Didn't know you'd think

That I'd forget

Or I'd regret

The special love

I had for you

My Baby Blue

All the days

Became so long

Did you really think

I'd do you wrong

Dixie

When I let you go

Thought you'd realise

That I would know

I would show

The special love

I had for you

My Baby Blue

What can I do?

What can I say?

Accept I'd want you

By my side

How can I show you?

Show me the way

Don't you know

The time's I've tried?

Guess that's all

I have to say

Except the feeling

Just grows stronger

Every day

Just one thing

Before I go

Take good care baby

Let me know

Let it grow

The special love

You had for me

My Dixie dear

Personal comment - one love lost, but an earlier one just came to my mind.