ODE TO ELAINE (Bransholme '76)

You may recall an earlier poem, A DAY AT SCHOOL (Bransholme '76), discovered in the trunk I've been dumping stuff since finishing my state education at Bransholme High (and this) (and this) transitioned me into adulthood.

I wrote a lot of stuff then, for my own pleasure and the challenge of writing odes and poems "to order"; one of which I present now. If you happen to be the original recipient of "your order" and wish me to remove it, please drop me a line.

ODE TO ELAINE (Bransholme '76)

I know Elaine and she has one craving, 

no, it's not for boys or crazy paving. 

This is a craving that has no limits,

for all are open to its lofty limits. 

None are safe, no-one's spared.

It's just Elaine's fetish, have you heard? 

  

With deadly accuracy and over in a tick,

it's just her craving, is she thick?

No I say, she is not thick, 

slightly silly but fast and slick. 

So, all you boys out there beware. 

Elaine has a fetish and it'll curl your hair. 

    

Never mind your shirt, your body or your soul, 

none of these are her ultimate goal. 

Elaine's fetish is most discreet. 

Wrong sir, not your feet. 

Try once more to guess this thing. 

What? No, it's not for string.  

 

Pardon sir, what was that you said? 

"Stripping church roofs"? 

No, it's not for lead.

No-one know this fetish 'cept I, 

Her fetish is in me like a plum in a pie. 

But save embarrassment I cannot lie.  

 

Elaine has no fetish and I am no pie. 

Elaine is grand, popular and witty, 

but mark my words and this no lie, 

don't get close or she'll have your tie.

I hartley dare mention it, but Elaine was the recipient of quite a few "on demand" odes. In this blog you will find one here and here. Happy days!

Want another Bransholme ode?